Trauma does not make you stronger, it traumatises you. Period.
People are so used to say “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

My take is what about the trauma it leaves behind? What about the struggle? What about that back and forth fighting to get where you want to be? The endless nights working and the struggling trying to understand why, what and how?

That leaves us being hyper independant – meaning if I can do it myself, I dont need nobody else. Well we do need people in our lives to make life seem a little bit simpler. To sooth that harshness we endured chasing after what we want. We need second opinion of people close to us. Yes guidance. We need people behind our backs, rooting for us and encouraging the work we’re doing, so that we may get to share and enjoy the harvest of our hardwork knowing we had people there rooting for us.

This is the type of questions we need to ask after dealing with difficult situations and evaluate the people we keep in our circle.

Comment what or who keeps you going when times are dark?

So it is 2022 and this year we don’t hide things. Lets start with me first. wait, before we start with that serious stuff. I had to quit my full time job late 2021 and girl let me tell you, it was bitter sweet! It really was because I was happy and sad at once, I mean I have been working at this company for like 5+ years, I don’t know how it feels being at home for more that two weeks. Here is a few signs to look out for when struggling at work to avoid making drastic decisions based on how your work situations is, you can still make a change

1. Mental Health

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED my job but soon waking up for my job became a job, like that is how I knew I needed to move on. Like what I usually loved about my work I started to hate, like I am really not joking chile, I would literally cringe at tasks that was given to me and my performance were so poor! I forced myself to move on, not only was I stagnant but I soon came to realize I am stuck. I am stuck and didn’t know how to get out of it.

2. Poor Performance.

So as it became later in 2021 towards the end of the year I started to realized that I am not performing in certain areas at my workplace. Like sales were terrible, in a area where I usually thrived in. My Manager would notice and discuss a few ideas on how to spark up sales again but in all honest, I could not perform or reach a target.

Not reaching targets set out and not doing any effort to do them is a sign, RECOGNISE!

3. Lack of productivity.

So working in retail and having my own counter that i am responsible for, I used to love cleaning my shelfs. Making sure my counter is spotless and making sure everything was on the right place was one of my main points working with skincare and cosmetics, being hygienic smart was my thing. I started lacking in that part of my job. My shelfs started catching up dust and cleaning them was crazy cause it felt like too much to handle in one day. I didn’t know where to start when I finally had the courage to clean them. It would feel like hours cleaning them and I would feel very much discouraged.

Not having any motivation to carry out task is a real red flag.

4. Being unhappy at your workplace.

We all have that one best-friend at work, the ‘work bestie’. Like nothing can break the bond between you two. But soon you start to feel irritable towards your bestie. Anything He/She does just feels off. Like the vibe is off with no explanation so you withdraw yourself from them. You start cutting them off and give them attitude. That basically mean that something regarding your job has got to do with it. Is it the pressure? Recognize those things because no one knows you better than your friend at work.

5. Frequently thinking of leaving your workplace.

Let’s be honest about this one, it happens quite alot and thinking about it often is not heathy at all. It ends in feeling stuck and guilt. Because you want to leave but you can’t because of remaining debt that you have or a family that depend on you. Find your happy place in your workspace. Trust me you don’t want to end up leaving a good paying place and end up unemployed and doing job hunting. It is HARD out there once you are jobless and seaching for a something to bring income.

With this I hope you would recognise and fix what can be fixed within your work space.

One my way to work one morning I was sitting with my earphones listening to music. I decided to opt for more calming music. As I was closing my eyes, allowing my mind to wander as it is a long way still to work.

I had a sudden splash of gratefulness coming over me. I was stunned by the sudden emotion. Not to mention that I’m in public transportation. Which means 66+ people in the bus.
I kept my eyes closed cause I knew once I was going to open them it would be another story. I would have tears rushing out of my eyes. So to avoid that I kept my eyes closed. Just to be on the safe side!

Its difficult to explain the exact kind of emotion I experienced, all I know Is that I want do good. No matter how many bad things is happening outside. I want to be good. I want to be good to humans. To animals. I knew I had to start somewhere and with my busy schedule at work I decided to make a good start at my work place. I started donating gifts to the elderly customers in store. Giving back makes me feel good. It brings a sense of security to the heart.

I’ve had this idea for quite some time I just never knew how to start or how to act it out. I was always scared of what the people would say. I had no choice but to give in and make a start.

There’s a lot more to than just donating. I’ve just started and I’m super excited. You should too. Check out the nearest children’s home or orphanage in you’re area and put a smile on someone’s face today :).

I’d like to share one of my most traumatic experiences so far.

Last year on a Saturday my parents got into an accident. Thankfully my family survived with no scratches, only the memory of the hit. I’m totally terrified at the idea, up untill today. My heart breaks and I feel so suffocated whenever I think about it. Cause I know that if I was in the car I wouldn’t survived it. Not mentally. It’s one of the worst feelings I’ve ever felt, and I wasn’t even in the vechile with them.

I have this fear. The fear of getting hurt. Like physical. I get panic attacks when I hurt myself accidentally. My whole body goes almost dead, my tongue swell up, my throat goes dry immediately and I go dizzy. In an instant!

After the accident of my parents I’ve been more observant than ever! I think that comes with trauma. It’s like my eyes and feelings are more awake, I’m more observant than ever.

It’s Monday morning and I’m on my way to college. The bus drove a little slow, obviously that something ahead is slowed down. We passed an accident scene and my heart dropped. First it was a car. With minor dents. As we drove past the car my heart almost jumped out of my chest, another vehicle was laying on its roof, it was a horrible sight. I felt so so bad, nauseous. It’s like a part of me that’s being ripped apart. I don’t know why, but my heart just bleeds for people in accidents.

Once went to Northern Cape for the weekend and driving there, I mean we’ve been driving to Calvinia for the last foreverness since I can remember, this time it was different. We were driving with the new car. Not that I don’t have trust in my dad, but accidents are beyond his control. And I was shit scared that we would get into an accident. We got in Calvinia safe, even still my nerves worked over time.

On our way home from the weekend we were stuck a little, first we forgot to greet my dad’s sister so we went back there but she was still in work. We drove then my mom remembered that we forgot the meats we bought. So we turned around and went to pick it up. As we were waiting for it, my aunt knocks from work and we greet her a goodbye. We got the meat and we were off.

As we drove there was a vehicle and people standing waving for help. My dad never pulls off to help, reason is people are cruel and use that as a tactic. So my dad pulled off and we were out on helping them. 2 hours passed by and we couldn’t get the vehicle up and running. We decided to drive a mile or two to get some signal to make a phone call for help. We drove like 4 miles before we could get signal. We successfully got assistance from a garage to come help the poor people. And we were off on the road again. They were all religious people and they’d put us on the road with a prayer and a Thank you.

We passed the mountain and came off on a accident minutes before we arrived. I got goosebumps instantly when I saw blue lights. Cause I knew what this means. It was a massive accident. A truck and a car. And it was in God’s will that we had to help those people along the road to save us from the accident ahead. I wanted to cry cause it wasn’t just a lucky for us. But the Lord has a plan for everything. And most we don’t understand but in the long run it becomes clear. And I’m just grateful to be here typing this out. Grateful for the mercy upon my life.

We got home safe that Monday morning. I went to work and heard there was another accident where 4 life’s were taken.

It’s sad to hear about these stuff I literally have goosebumps talking about it.

If you’ve lost a dear friend or family member in a accident, my heart goes out to you. May God always be with you all!

I’m not a beauty expert.

I’m a beauty advisor. I have had very bad skin in my teenage years. Popping them made it seem easier to get rid of pimples. Then there would be that pimple that I would pop, and then it comes back even bigger. Yes I know the whole struggle of having acne, scarring and the low self-esteem that comes with bad skin. Today I don’t have such problems at all. All due to a few sacrifices I made.

Nothing makes me more happier than giving back and advising. With my skin I have been up and down. Through good and the bad. I love interacting with individuals about skincare and regimes. Finding what works for your skin is a nightmare. I can confess. I can assure you that it is not going to happen overnight. No honey.
Yes there is products on the shelves that works better than others some may say, and that is true. Only because everyone is different. Our skin reacts different to each and every product. Not forgetting our sensitive skin, our phorisis skin and eczema. Every skin is unique and Beautiful.

So, being careful as to which products to use is from utmost importance. Eating. Oh my. Eating healthy, doesn’t always mean you have to cut out your favorite foods or that your diet should only form out of vegetables and fruits. No. When I say Eating healthier it means start with that 1 litre of water. Water does so much for the skin. It flushes out all toxins from the inside.

Some may experience within the 1st week or 2 that they’re breaking out more than usual. That my dear friend, is all the toxins coming from the inside. Don’t give up. Remember that blind pimples do exist. They usually surface when you’re detoxing or using a skin regime good enough to bring them out. Remember that!

Start eating healthy. You’ll thank me later, and your skin will thank “You” later. It is never too late to start. Minimize your unhealthy eating habits. I know this is a very sensitive topic, but come on guys. Rome wasn’t built in 1 day. So by means SACRIFICE, and I don’t mean cats and dogs. I mean those sugar, processed foods and last but not least take aways. You dont have to make major changes in your diet immediately, what you can do is to minimize. Like say for instance you have 3 times a week take aways. Try and minimize it to 2 times a week. Add water to your diet. In the mornings on a empty stomach. Set an reminder for when to drink water during the day. If you can do those, you are on the brink of having beautiful skin and your health will improve too.

With that being said I enjoyed giving back. Get in touch and ask a few questions in the comment box below.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton